Grace & Love

April 29, 2021

Rebekah's Version:

We first met at my best friend Jackie's wedding. Jackie is James' sister and James and I were paired up for the bridal party announcement/entrance. We started talking and the conversation was incredible. At the time, I was seeing someone else, so when James asked for my number, I hesitantly gave it. We didn't really talk or text much, but when I returned home to Colorado (I was in Virginia for PA school) for Christmas, James was quick to reach out and asked to meet up for coffee. I danced around the idea and did everything I could to avoid it (since he's my best friend's brother and all...), but then decided that since we really did have a great connection at the wedding (and I was no longer seeing anyone) a coffee date was pretty non-threatening. James and I met up and we talked for four hours on that date. Again though, I was super driven to finish PA school and didn't want to get tied down with a relationship, so we texted off and on, but I focused my energy on school.

When I graduated PA school and got accepted into my surgical residency program at Yale, I had a few months off in the summer, so I went back home to Colorado to nanny my little brother, Miles, and it was honestly a blast!

During that summer, I hiked a 14er with Jackie and my other best friend, Chels (by the time all was said and done, it was about three 14ers in one day...) and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, to the point where I just kept praying and leaning on the Lord for strength. When I got home that night, I listened to a sermon on the Book of Ezekiel and the Valley of the Dry Bones. The sermon was about the conflict in a human's soul between trusting God fully and trying to control our outcomes. This one really resonated with me and given what happened earlier that day on the mountain, it brought me to tears. If you've ever listened to a really good sermon and felt fire within you, then you know the feeling I'm talking about when I say I was just on fire for the Lord.

I've always been into journaling, so that night, I sat down and just started writing a letter to God. I once had a really good friend tell me to pray to the Lord and ask Him for everything I want in a husband as specifically as possible. So, when I sat down and put pen to paper, I did. I asked for everything from how l wanted his heart to be loving and kind to how I wanted him to have an adventurous soul and be equally as down for Netflix and pizza as much as hiking and protein shakes. I wanted him to love my family without judgment and to be extraordinarily patient. Most importantly, I wanted him to have a heart that was running after God as fast as I was running. I could go on and on about the details, but the fact is, I wrote a letter to God.

Three days later, I texted James to congratulate him on his new position at Oracle and five days after the letter, he and I met up for coffee for the second time. We walked and talked for seven hours that day. I was still hesitant, but one night I prayed about it and just asked God that if this was His plan for me, to help me let go of whatever was holding me back. The next day, I told James about the letter I wrote to God and come to find out, he wrote a letter to God too. It was in that moment that I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and just knew. We've been together ever since. Our love story is built on a foundation of love for the Lord and love for each other.

Rebekah’s Letter:

God, I want a man who loves You more than me or anything else in the world. A man who loves to laugh, is easy-going, can have a conversation with anyone and has a great sense of humor. A man who will love my family and stand by my sister when they get married to their future wife. A man who is athletic and loves to be outside, but also loves pizza, beer and Netflix binges. Someone who is just as excited about having kids and going to Saturday soccer games and making banana pancakes on Sunday as I am. A man who wants to travel the world, but also sees the beauty in coming home. A man who will wash mushrooms and chop vegetables for me because he knows I hate it. Someone who respects me for my independence, ambition, confidence and drive, but is able to be strong and lead me when I need it. Someone who makes me feel safe, secure and beautiful all at once. Someone who never stops pursuing me. Someone who loves and gets along with all of my family and my friends. Someone who is spontaneous, but also respects my obsessive need for organization. At the end of the day, Lord, just give me a man after your own heart who helps bring peace to mine. Father, show me Your grace, show me how Your Spirit is moving this hope around. Show me Your strength and let it beat through my soul. I praise You, I thank You endlessly for all You have done in my life. My confidence is in You. Amen.

James' Version:

It all started September 16th, 2018 at my sister's wedding. I had just gotten back from my brother-in-law's bachelor party and was exiting my truck with my tuxedo garment bag slung over my shoulder and when I turned around, I saw Rebekah walking up the stairs toward the venue. I had already heard about Rebekah because my mom told me that is who I would be paired up with when walking in the wedding, but I did not actually know her personally. I never formally have met her, so I took the opportunity to introduce myself before I went up to where the dressing room was for the groomsmen. I did not think much of her, honestly, until after the wedding ceremony was over and the reception was about to begin. As both of us were preparing ourselves together to walk down the stairs, we started a casual conversation. She told me about her tattoo on her back and that it was done uniquely for her by a Buddhist monk on her trip to Thailand. "That's awesome!" I said, in my drunken state. We clanked drinks and walked down the stairs to the only seats left. All throughout the night we had talked to one another about our lives and I felt a very deep connection on so many levels. The one huge caveat and deal breaker for her was that I am a Marine, and so were her dad and brother. One of her ex's was also a Marine and so I had to ask her, "So by default you must already hate Marines?" to which she replied "Yes." If she thought that was supposed to deter me, it did not. I continued to pursue her for the rest of the night just getting to know her and we even once found ourselves slow dancing during the middle of a hip-hop song. The end of the night came and of course I knew she would be leaving to go back to the East Coast soon to finish PA school, but something about her kept drawing me closer to my own knowingly self-sabotage of the unfortunate possibility of the improbable likelihood that this would ever work out, but I asked for and got her number.

Over the next day or so I tried texting her to keep up some sort of communication to stay on the radar, even though I knew I was in a losing battle, but I still could not shake the intriguing feelings I had towards her. Eventually I shot my shot in what I thought was a smooth way of letting her know I am into her but was rejected. I felt crushed because I never connected with someone so deeply that fast before and honestly felt something I never felt before in my life. The feeling of wanting to share the same qualities and characteristics that she has. Later that weekend or that month I sat down and dipped into my spirituality and connection with God and, since I had been reading about the phenomenon of the law of attraction, I wrote a prayer. In my letter to God I wrote that wanted someone who was within a certain amount of distance and would be willing to move to wherever we need to support one another's dreams. I wrote down all the characteristics I could think of that made Rebekah so wonderful and included that this future soulmate of mine would be emotionally available, ready to marry, and start a family together. Then I concluded my letter with the idea of patience and waiting comfortably for my soulmate’s arrival whether I know her, have met her already, or she is heading my way.

Over the next few months, I focused on my education and the internship I had with Oracle, but I kept Rebekah in the back of my mind. I knew she would be coming back home for Christmas and so I decided to reach out to her about meeting up for a cup of coffee or even just dinner. After a couple of exchanges and me affirming that I was only interested in enjoyable conversation, she and I agreed to meet up for coffee at Wash Perk. We ordered our cups and as we made our way to a table to sit down, a song that I had been listening and crazing over for a couple of weeks now came on started playing (I Was Made for Loving You, by Kiss). To this day I tell her and everyone else that it is our song. I did not know how long Rebekah planned to have coffee with me, but our deep and personal conversation lasted for four hours. We talked about our faith, our families, and lives on a more personal level this time compared to when we talked at the wedding. Everything she was saying sounded like music to my ears and made grabbing coffee such an enjoyable experience, even as friends.

After we parted ways, we remained in contact through texting for a couple of months or less, until she ghosted me. Even though she and I stopped talking I still had her in the back of my mind as life went on. I continued with focusing on my studies and my internship extension at Oracle and moved forward with my life. I graduated from Regis University that May and summer came around. Rebekah had congratulated me, but we did not speak much again after that either.

I went to take a vacation to see my friends from the Marine Corps to celebrate my graduation and my FTE offer from Oracle for a Data Scientist position. I left for Michigan to chill with one of my friends, his wife, and two girls. Then I flew to California to hang out with the good friends I made during the Corps who still lived there. While in San Clemente grabbing a drink with my friend, I received a text message from Rebekah. She was congratulating me on the job offer, and we started catching up with where we left off. The way she talked to me this time was different than most of the other times before. While she showed interest now, she also expressed intent. We met up for coffee again at Stella’s Gourmet Coffee and Such, and I brought my dog, Sammie with me. There we had coffee for about an hour or two, and then walked together for about five hours around the area. The entire time walking together and connecting again felt so right and like this was how life was supposed to be. When she had to go, she dropped me off closer to my truck and I asked to hang out again soon only to turn around and find a parking ticket on my truck window (best parking ticket I ever received).

We made plans to go to visit the Denver Botanic Gardens together but kept communicating with one another daily. We asked each other deep and intimate questions and were excited to try this questionnaire together that is supposed to make anyone fall in love with each other after completing (a psychological science experiment). Before the Botanic Gardens, we met up at a silent disco that Rebekah went to with my sister and that was when we shared our first kiss. The next day I was shocked to see she was inviting me over to meet her family right away, but honestly, I felt so good about it seeing how much she thought of me to introduce me to her family. I had dinner with her mom, sister, and little brother Miles before taking Sammie on a walk with Rebekah to talk about life once more.

As we walked the Botanic Gardens and the rest of downtown Denver asking each other these 36 questions, there had been no doubt in my mind that I was crazy for Rebekah and had fallen for her. I invited her over to dinner at my house one night after she celebrated her step-brother's birthday and I made us both spaghetti pie. I felt so secure and vulnerable around Rebekah, especially after she told me about how she wrote a letter to God asking for a husband with all certain aspects and qualities that fit what her heart desired. My heart and eyes lit up after hearing this. I soon after showed her and let her read the letter I wrote to God as well and told her I wrote the letter after I met her. I was in love. We were soulmates made by God for each other who just did not know it yet.

James’ Letter:

I, James Martin Nelson, give thanks to God in all that is for my beloved soulmate. I am grateful she is single and available for a healthy, loving, committed, lifelong relationship and marriage with children. She lives at least within 2000 miles away from me, and she and I are willing to move to be with one another. She is abundant, affectionate, caring and very considerate. She is charismatic, creative, emotionally available, and enjoys dogs along with traveling. She is very family oriented, somewhat flexible with her life, fun and funny, and generous towards others. She has great relationships with family and friends. She is happy, healthy, nurturing, and playful. She is very attractive, and beautiful to me. We are unequivocally compatible. She is very adventurous, smart, and spiritually open about her faith in God. She is successful and supportive of me in my dreams. She is talented, physically active, appreciative, and grateful for everything in life. Finally, she loves with her whole heart and holds nothing back as I would love her with my whole heart with nothing held back. As I savor the waiting for her impending arrival, I relax in the peace and comfort that we will soon be together. And so, it is whether we have known each other before or just met, we will be able to look into each other's eyes and just know.